(Note: Sung to "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend")

A poke with a bloke may be quite incidental,
Durex is a girl's best friend,

You may shoot his load, but you won't be parental.
Cos as he slides it in,
You'll trust that good old latex skin.

As he lets fly, none gets by,
'Cos it's all gathered up in the end.

This little precaution,
Avoids an abortion,

Durex is a girl's best friend.